it was like eating out sand paper
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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