i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
