ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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