bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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