I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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