they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
