2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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