Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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