Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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