just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
