I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
