are you so shy because you have an std?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
