you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
