We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have post one night stand depression
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
