I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
