Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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