The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
