Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
