Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
