:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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