I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
