Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
