Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
