Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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