if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
