pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i dont even know how to be here
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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