Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
