It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
