I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
After everything Iāve doneā¦ had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey gamesā¦. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
