On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
