Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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