why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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