It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
