I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
