STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
