you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
