They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
