She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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