i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
