I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
our cab driver is having phone sex.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
