Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
