Having a random hookup so left but love u
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
