I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
