I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
