glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
