The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
