her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
