worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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