remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
