so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
