i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
