I feel like I'm in dance class right now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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