There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
