How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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