this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
