I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
